|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
In the RawI don't know what to call this feeling in my chest. It tightens like longing and burns like lust, swelling and roaring out of my mouth like rage. There is a wanting and a sadness and a keening echoing over anger as powerless hands seek to grasp something far out of their reach. Sweet and tender moments imagined in fits of contented sighs are tossed about on a dark sea and sunk as reality pokes holes in the hull of my ship. Would that I had the power to make these things real, to birth things of substance from the wisps of dreams, but the fragile creatures die and fall heavily into the void with the weight of 'how' and 'why'.
I only know how to wait. I sit in the dark before this window and wait. Until opportunity blooms, until the time is right. Minutes and moments slip by as a I soundlessly wait, a timid predator in the grass. Each one laughing in its small voice as my muscles atrophy and anticipation mixes with regret and doubt. And I hope that I haven't missed the right one.
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More